Thursday, October 30, 2008

Cow Friend


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This is my favorite baby bull. He's the only black angus in the bunch with a white face. He used to be too timid to come anywhere near me, but now he let's me lean into him and scratch under his neck. Maybe I'll tame him and bring him home on the plane. He followed me home...

Also, see Ryan's version!
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

The Farm


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This is the farm in florida.  I'm home now and goddamn grateful.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Speaking in Tongues


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My grandmother isn't religious at all, but there is this amazing public access channel that plays this preacher all the time.  Though, conservative talk radio is pretty darn close to speaking in tongues, and there is plenty of that here.  Sometimes I step outside and it feels so peaceful with the cows and the breeze.  And then I walk back inside and it's like an assault on the intellect of humanity.  It's a goddamn miracle gran isn't religious because if you added that to the paranoia, racism, conservative political views and some kind of meat at every meal, I would be more in hell than I already am. 

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Old People City


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It's sort of a southern dream world down here.  My grandmother, we've decided, has borderline personality disorder.  She's also 85 and going blind.  She has 35 head of cattle and over 30 acres of pasture.  The amount of work and trouble involved in this farm is way too much for a little old blind lady.  But despite all of the mounting evidence that she shouldn't be living here, she insists that if she's meant to die alone in a field, then that's just how she'll go.  I've been here for weeks trying to put in place some help and support for her, since she can barely cook without burning the house down.  But she digs her heels in and refuses to believe she's actually blind.  I can't imagine how hard it is to be old and losing your control on the world anyways, let alone losing your vision.  But she either needs to find some grace, or break a bone.  The only thing keeping my heart and brain alive down here is baby cows and two hours a day at the falling down ymca.  I've always hated running, but somehow here it soothes my claustrophobia in this tiny, sad town.  I wish I could paint a better picture of just how dysfunctional my grandmother is.  Though, thankfully she isn't doing things like wearing boxes on her feet her losing her way in the road.  But since her whole life has been filled with cooking and cleaning and being a domestic slave (of her own choice), now that she can't physically or visually do those things anymore, it's like her life has lost it's meaning.  She's built her whole world around laundry and cleaning and now that those things have become difficult, she's left with nothing.  No friends, no movement, nothing.  So I don't blame her for trying to sabotage our efforts to ease her chores, since she doesn't have anything else.  If she didn't fret about what to make for dinner the moment she woke up in the morning, what else would she think about all day?  Soon I will be home, and all of my time and energy to move her into a new stage in her life will fall away and hopefully she won't burn the house down.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fire Tower


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This footage is from a year ago.

I'm down here in Florida with my crazy blind grandmother.  Eating southern food, listening to republican rants and sorting through my past.  

Not sure what my next steps are, but anxious to go home.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)