Sinking

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The slate is thoroughly blank right now.  I've never been so wide open and directionless in my whole life.  It's partly brilliant and partly terrifying.  Some days I want to hop on a train, other days I want to wrap an electric blanket around my heart.  It's good for me to stay in this place for a while and just wonder what happens next.  I don't usually have the luxury or give myself that opportunity.  When my compass stops spinning I'll let you know where it lands...

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: sinking, common courtesy

Check me out on Etsy!

http://www.GleanHouse.etsy.com

I've joined the land of Etsy! (Kind of like OZ for makers)

If you're not familiar with the glory that is this site, let me just educate you.  Made up of handmade and vintage, Etsy is a beautifully designed online craft fair and flea market.  From fancy handmade ties to vintage housewares, you can find really unique prints and artwork too. It also allows you to find artists near you and shop locally!  

I'm stocking up my inventory, trying to make a go of selling vintage and re-working unique pieces I find along the way.  

My sister also partakes: Ryanne's Valley Vintage

Stop by the shop, and tell your friends!

the bossy bossy breeze

Snowblink.


I just had to share this. Thanks Rugnetta.

Lone Kitchen

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I've had a lot of time over the last 6 months to make food, do dishes and be alone in the kitchen.  It's been a mix of things but mostly it reminds me that no amount of thinking or being lonely gets in the way of a good meal and a good radio station.  

Not sure who the music is by, but if you have the iphone app, you can figure it out yourself and let me know...

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: common courtesy, kitchen

Picc

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THIS VIDEO CONTAINS BLOOD AND GUTS.  

You've been warned.  I had some requests to see my Picc line taken out, so here it is.  And also some footage from my 5 days in the hospital (we were admitted on my birthday), and some other stuff from the 20 day treatment too.  All of the nurses I worked with were incredible.  Hospitals and clinics wouldn't function at all without their wicked hard work and love.  I couldn't have gone through that whole thing without their support, attention and concern.  Nurses are total heros.

I had a dream last night about my picc line.  It was fluttering in my heart, I could feel the whole thing running through my arm, and at some point it was taken out.  I remember the noodle of it, swaying, towards the end of my dream.  Then my dream progressed into some kind of thrift store that was actually a princess castle... only I would dream about royal thrift stores.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: common courtesy, leishmaniasis

Cow Friend

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This is my favorite baby bull. He's the only black angus in the bunch with a white face. He used to be too timid to come anywhere near me, but now he let's me lean into him and scratch under his neck. Maybe I'll tame him and bring him home on the plane. He followed me home...

Also, see Ryan's version!

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: common courtesy, florida, cow

The Farm

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This is the farm in florida.  I'm home now and goddamn grateful.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: common courtesy, farm, florida

Speaking in Tongues

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My grandmother isn't religious at all, but there is this amazing public access channel that plays this preacher all the time.  Though, conservative talk radio is pretty darn close to speaking in tongues, and there is plenty of that here.  Sometimes I step outside and it feels so peaceful with the cows and the breeze.  And then I walk back inside and it's like an assault on the intellect of humanity.  It's a goddamn miracle gran isn't religious because if you added that to the paranoia, racism, conservative political views and some kind of meat at every meal, I would be more in hell than I already am. 

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: common courtesy, florida

Old People City

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It's sort of a southern dream world down here.  My grandmother, we've decided, has borderline personality disorder.  She's also 85 and going blind.  She has 35 head of cattle and over 30 acres of pasture.  The amount of work and trouble involved in this farm is way too much for a little old blind lady.  But despite all of the mounting evidence that she shouldn't be living here, she insists that if she's meant to die alone in a field, then that's just how she'll go.  I've been here for weeks trying to put in place some help and support for her, since she can barely cook without burning the house down.  But she digs her heels in and refuses to believe she's actually blind.  I can't imagine how hard it is to be old and losing your control on the world anyways, let alone losing your vision.  But she either needs to find some grace, or break a bone.  The only thing keeping my heart and brain alive down here is baby cows and two hours a day at the falling down ymca.  I've always hated running, but somehow here it soothes my claustrophobia in this tiny, sad town.  I wish I could paint a better picture of just how dysfunctional my grandmother is.  Though, thankfully she isn't doing things like wearing boxes on her feet her losing her way in the road.  But since her whole life has been filled with cooking and cleaning and being a domestic slave (of her own choice), now that she can't physically or visually do those things anymore, it's like her life has lost it's meaning.  She's built her whole world around laundry and cleaning and now that those things have become difficult, she's left with nothing.  No friends, no movement, nothing.  So I don't blame her for trying to sabotage our efforts to ease her chores, since she doesn't have anything else.  If she didn't fret about what to make for dinner the moment she woke up in the morning, what else would she think about all day?  Soon I will be home, and all of my time and energy to move her into a new stage in her life will fall away and hopefully she won't burn the house down.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: common courtesy, florida, grandma

Fire Tower

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This footage is from a year ago.

I'm down here in Florida with my crazy blind grandmother.  Eating southern food, listening to republican rants and sorting through my past.  

Not sure what my next steps are, but anxious to go home.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: vinal haven, common courtesy

Because you can't.

My Favorite.
Your Favorite.
Because the summer misses you.

Sail

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Kim, Leslie and I sailing the rough waters of the harbor.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: sail, boston harbor, boston, common courtesy

Up In the Hill, Bastimentos

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While in Panama my computer crashed for a couple months, so this video hasn't been posted yet.  More footage from up in the hill.  Love to Janette, Javier, Teo and potentially another little child thing who may or may not be out of the tummy yet??   This lovely family housed us and fed us in exchange for back breaking labor (mostly eating brownies) and playing with tiny teo.

Check out their website:

http://www.thejunglelodge.com/upinthehill/ 

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: bocas del toro, batimentos, panama

Has it been so long?

I'm going to bring everything up to date with a list, and maybe some pictures.
WARNING: Some graphic pictures, not for the faint of heart...

Came back from Central America in March (yeah!).

Brought home cellular parasites (boo!), Cutaneous Leishmaniasis. See Ethan's post for his take on the whole thing.

Spent 5 days in the hospital to treat our tasty parasites, had a severe allergic reaction, tongue swelled up real big.

If they aren't treated there is a 5% chance it will reoccur in my mucus membranes in 2-20 years (don't even google mucosal leishmaniasis unless you're trying to make yourself ill).

Plan B: 20 day IV drug (Pentostam) with a Picc Line, Heart monitor and lots of tests.

In the past month I've had over 10 EKG's, an echo cardiogram, 3 chest x-rays, enough blood work to feed an entire family of vampire monkeys, a small camera stuck down my nose to look at my throat, 3 Ultrasounds, a 24 hour heart monitor for all 20 days of treatment, a few hearty panic attacks complete with difficult breathing and skipped heart beats, and more time in the hospital than I ever cared to spend.

The parasites live in my skin, deep in the tissue, which are going to be some killer scars once they've healed.

This whole thing was started by tiny-no-see-ums, or sand flies that feasted on my little legs for months in Bocas Del Toro, Panama.

I finished treatment last week with a big fat giant sigh of relief. I'm on my way to being a normal person again.

Ethan and I had tickets to Madagascar to do some more volunteer work for two months this summer.

I had to cancel my ticket, since I'm being munched on by cell-sized monsters. I really wanted Ethan to go over still and do some good work, so he's now 34 hours of travel time away from where I'm sitting right now. When I go to sleep at night, he's waking up to his day. What a crazy world this is.

And now for some disgusting pictures!




First Heart Monitor


Left leg, 2nd day in hospital.


Before 2nd treatment of Pentostam.


Close up of the fabulous open sores...

As I type this my legs are starting to heal wonderfully. They basically scar overnight, which is such a relief after having what you see above for months. I can finally take a shower without pain, walk around without swollen legs, and one day I'll be able to swim and wear skirts and act like a normal person again!

Thanks to everyone at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for being wicked friggen' awesome, even though you were pumping heavy metals into my liver, heart and pancreas...

And thanks to my whole family and fabulous friends for calling me, cooking for me and driving me around to my hundreds of appointments and panics.

And love to Ethan and the whole team all the way across the world!

Days of Sweating Sugar

Every morning we wake up to a big bowl of fruit, or a banana leaf steamed with corn meal and chicken. Often there are glasses full of colored juices so sweet they stick like syrup to my tongue. The amount of sugar in ever spoonful of food and drink has formed a neat little pillow around my belly, despite sweating at every moment of the day. Some how we find ourselves at the only embarrassingly touristy cafe in the whole town with free wifi for hours and hours. It's also the only vaguely comfortable place to sit for a time without being covered in our own sweat. The streets are quiet this week during the day and then they erupt in processions and drunkenness in the evening to celebrate Semana Santa. Somehow, even in the heat of the sun, men lay passed out on the sidewalk completely oblivious to people walking over them or taxis screaming by.
The week of Spanish school was well overdue and it's absloutely absurd they we waited until our final week to do it. But that's just how things turned out and it actually excites me to do it all over again. Maybe next year.
I keep thinking of being back in Boston; the delicious sandwiches i will eat, and my shiny red bike that is locked away in our storage unit.

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Hello Nicaragua!

We're officially out of Panama, now stretching our legs and eating some fruit after a long bus ride to Granada, Nicaragua. I put together a little video of some more panama footage. The middle part is our trip to Boquete which is in the mountains of Panama. Lots of vine covered trees and coffee farms. Also a cool breeze which was such a relief after months on the Caribbean coast. Then we went to Panama city which was not my favorite city in the world. Their public transportation is mostly school buses from the states that have been airbrushed and decked out, complete with strobe lights inside and plush dashboards. So you can imagine the noise and exhaust that just permeates every nook of the city. It was tiring after a while, and we were trying not to spend any money which is nearly impossible in any city.

Looking for a sailboat from either side of the canal proved more difficult than we anticipated. Had we an entirely open schedule (ie not needing to get home by April) and were willing to stay in the city for more than a week, we would have no doubt found a boat. But as it was, we only found a chap going to Tahiti. There was also some passport shenanigans that would have been entirely avoided had we not stayed in an awful hostel our first couple nights. Don't stay at the Voyager International Hostel in Panama city. If it comes to staying there or sleeping on the street, choose the street. We haven't stayed in a hostel mostly this whole entire experience and we thought it would be a good cheap way to stay in the city. But after two nights of bed bugs and real asshole management I have zero guilt about publicly trashing this hostel on the internet.

That said, with incredible relief we find ourselves in Granada which is hot and beautiful. And old Spanish colonial city, the giant doors along the high walled facades open into huge courtyards. Some are shady and green, others are stocked with Jesus and Mary and some old lady in a rocking chair. Yesterday afternoon we arrived and after the essential internet and food (always internet first) I fell into a deep sleep. Having not slept on the bus ride up from panama city, i think it was more than 24 hours, it was that confused hazy sort of sleep. So a few hours later I woke up and Ethan was leaping out of bed running down to the street and i just said "I'll meet you down there!" not really aware of what was happening. I rushed down the ladder form the weird loft we're staying in and as i got onto the street there was a band playing this mesmerizing, slow music. Almost circus like, but more serious. And there was jesus on top of a big platform carrying the cross. And underneath him were men walking and swaying making it looking like jesus was bearing the cross on top of a small wave of men. So that was my introduction to Nicaragua.

Headed home March 26th, or to New York rather. Hopefully we can borrow some warm cloth when we get there...

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: panama, panama canal, hostal, nicaragua, granada, common courtesy

Where everyone is free to roam

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Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica.

Where everyone gets to enjoy the beach, even giant pigs. 

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: pig, costa rica, puerto viejo, common courtesy

Desayuno

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This is a quick vid from when we first arrived in San Jose, Costa Rica back in December.  A typical breakfast sometimes includes deep fried weenies.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)

Tags: costa rica, san jose, common courtesy

Up In the Hill, Bastimentos
This is our little casita overlooking the ocean. To the right is where we're helping to build a kitchen and bathroom addition. We're both doing a lot of child watching, hammering, dishes and playing with dogs at the moment. I've decided to not have children for another 20 years or so...
I would like to be putting more video up, but it's difficult getting enough power to edit a video. So for the moment a picture will have to do! Bastimentos is a roadless island only 15 minutes from Bocas town. Everything from groceries to building materials has to make it up a muddy path to where the casa/casita are, which can make for a sweaty, sweaty day. At night leaf cutting ants come out and you can find them by the millions carry leaves in a neat little line. sometimes there are so many ants, they sort of cut a path through the jungle 4 inches wide just from walking back and forth from different trees.
I can't believe it's February.

the work that doesn't end

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Well, after much work and trials we decided to move on from the Shepard's Island project. This video is a little taste of the people and constant work going on daily which we decided wasn't fitting our idea of fun.  Besides, we feel like we can put our energy and skills towards something that is more in line with our hearts.

For the next few weeks we will be in the Bocas area still, helping some other friends with an addition to their house (more to come on that).  Then our plans are wide open.  We might stay in the area depending on our continuing opportunities or we might head north in pursuit of some spanish schools in Guatemala, and maybe eventually travel our way to northern Mexcio and do some Ranch work. 

Enjoy! 

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv)